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I received an Advanced Reader Copy of the book, The Joy of Missing Out by Tonya Dalton, from Harper Collins Publishers. I was not required to write this review, and all opinions are my own and 100% honest and true.
Joy of Missing Out
Also known as JOMO
Noun
1. The emotionally intelligent antidote to busy; intentionally choosing to live in the present moment by embracing open spaces of unrushed time.
2. An intense feeling of delight and happiness caused by centering your life on what is truly important and letting go of the “shoulds” and “have to’s” in life.
-The Joy of Missing Out, Introduction
I’ve always been one of those people on a quest for being more productive, more organized, and trying to figure out how to do #allthethings.
I love reading self-help books. I sit there and cheer on the authors, amazed at the insight they are providing.
I’m a huge supporter of habits, routines, and time blocking.
But the “putting it into action” part? I’m not so good at that. I have great intentions, and then I get sucked into the social media rabbit hole, or I jump around from project to project never really finishing much of anything.
It’s time for a change
But in the last three weeks since I started reading The Joy of Missing Out by Tonya Dalton (Creator of inkWELL Press Planners, Productivity Paradox podcast, TonyaTV on YouTube, and the LiveWELL Method Course – yep, she does a lot! You know she’s got to have productivity down!), I have already seen a shift in my thinking, and more importantly in my actions.
I’ve sprinkled this post with a few of my favorite quotes from the book. I hope they resonate with you like they did with me.
And now you need to make a choice. Do you want to stay on the path you are on, or do you want to make some changes to work toward the life you want?
The Joy of Missing Out, pg. 196
I’ve implemented a morning routine that is easy enough for me to complete when I first get up (I’m so not a morning person), and starts my day off with a few little wins that I can build on with my other tasks.
I’ve learned to say no to some of the activities that cause me more stress than benefit.
And I’ve started spending 20 or so minutes walking with my Dad every night; which not only is good for my health (one of my priorities), but also gives me a chance to talk with him and strengthen our relationship. Plus I’m enjoying the calm, cool fall weather which is definitely good for my mental health too!
We need to create systems that feel attainable and fit the lifestyle we really want- not the one we think we are supposed to want.
The Joy of Missing Out, pg. 109
It’s a triangle, with priorities running right down the middle
Tonya’s writing flows so well, moving between real experiences and information. If you have any experience listening to her speak, it’s easy to read the book with her voice in your head. It sounds just like what she would say if she was having a one on one chat with you.
The Joy of Missing Out is divided into four sections of three chapters each.
- Pursue Discovery
- Find Clarity
- Create Simplicity
- Achieve Harmony
Tonya describes these sections as a triangle, each section builds on the previous one. And running down the middle of all of them is “Priorities.”
Nobody in the history of the universe, ever accomplished great things by trying to do everything.
The Joy of Missing Out, pg. 190
It just kept getting better.
I was completely engrossed through the end. In fact, the further I got, the less I wanted to put it down.
My experience is that most authors put the main points of their book at the beginning, then use the rest of the book to just support what they have already said. But JOMO isn’t like that. Each section has it’s individual focus, but each one also explains how our priorities drive the choices we make.
We just have to treat out priorities as priorities….
Give yourself permission to focus on what’s truly important. Time management is to about learning how to do things faster; it’s choosing where- and how- to spend your time.
The Joy of Missing Out, pg. 153
It’s more than just a book
Okay, ready for this super cheesy line?
It’s more than just a book, it’s an experience.
See, told ya it was cheesy. But really, I mean it. And more than even an experience, it is a complete program designed to help you implement everything Tonya talks about in the book. In fact, to simply read the book is doing yourself a huge disservice. You would be missing out on so much valuable insight that you could have by completing the discussion guide. And there is no joy in that!
If you prioritize the important tasks, you get to a place where there aren’t urgent tasks. You become proactive and those fires don’t even get a chance to ignite.
The Joy of Missing Out, pg. 92
There are a bazillion books out there. But I’ve never seen a book that comes with so many resources to dive in deeper to the information, and apply it in your own life, according to your own situation.
Just for starters, there is an email companion series. For each chapter you will get an email that contains more content to help reinforce the ideas in the book. Things like podcasts, videos, and printable worksheets to really examine how the concepts can work for you.
You will also get the discussion guide. 48 pages of questions and activities to help you take the concepts you are learning and internalize them. It will make you think deeper about how these ideas apply in your own life, and then consider what actions you can take next.
Finally, everyone who pre-ordered the book before October 1, 2019 had the option to also receive her course, Discover Your North Star as a bonus.
The North Star is the the beacon shining through the dark unknown, lighting our path.
The Joy of Missing Out, pg. 38
This course starts on October 1st, when the book launches. I’m so excited to start it and really put thought into my mission, vision, and values. All of those things are the things that need to be directing out choices and letting us know which direction we should be moving in.
It’s a movement, #JOMOmovement
When we get caught up in the idea of balance, we are busy trying to make everything even. We don’t concentrate our time, energy, and focus in order to move in the direction we really want to go.
The Joy of Missing Out, pg. 8
Just like the triangle of the book’s structure- how it starts with this foundation of discovering what is important to us, and leads into enjoying the white space in our lives- we are also part of this movement as a triangle.
It started with Tonya. She reached down to a few people, who then also reach down to a few more. It starts with a few people reading The Joy of Missing Out, like the launch team that I was apart of. Then we each share it with people around us. We reach down to lift others up. Then they also reach down to lift up more. And it grows. We tell others of how knowing the direction we are going in has made a difference in how we decide on, and treat, our goals. We tell them how excited we are to only be doing things we love. (At least most of the time. We all know those dishes and that laundry still need to get done. But Tonya’s got a solution to make that easier too. 😛 )
I know that there are things worth my time. And I know that often I don’t spend my time doing those things, but instead waste it on things that either don’t matter or I never wanted to do in the first place. But I ended up saying yes out of guilt, or not knowing how to say no.
There’s room for improvement. I want to do better. And I believe that The Joy of Missing Out, along with all the resources Tonya has created to supplement it, have many of the answers on how to not just put my goals into action, but how to find ways to slow down, simplify my schedule, and enjoy every day.
And finally to you, Dear Reader, those early mornings when I rose to write this book, I imagined you sitting next to me. I pictured you listening to the audio book in your car, and I saw you standing face to face with me, taking in the words I had written. I thought of you in every step of this journey.
This book has always been about you.
Acknowledgements
If you would like to find out more about The Joy of Missing Out, check out their website at JoyofMissingOut.com or you can purchase on Amazon here.